June 19, 2011
The day we found out we were pregnant I went to our bedroom and started journaling the flurry of thoughts and emotions that I was experiencing. Ok, I cried first, then I started journaling. One of those thoughts and feelings was the one where you realize you’re growing up. You know what I’m talking about? It doesn’t happen just once, it happens usually around the beginning of a new season of life. Maybe it’s when you first go off to college and it’s your first night in the dorm room, or on your plane flight to your honeymoon and it dawns on you, or maybe it’s when you find out you’re going to be a parent. These moments, for me, are always met with a mixture of anxiety, fear, and excitement. They cause me to look back and reflect and look forward and dream.
It’s hard for me to put into words what it’s been like to be a father for these past 8 months, I would dream about this season of life even as a high schooler. True, it is not all giggles and fun, there’s the drool, the diapers, the sacrifice, but for me there is nothing like holding your child close to your chest and feeling their heart beat with yours. The blessing and miracle of life just blows my mind.
It’s one of my favorite things. Landon falling asleep on my chest.
He is getting bigger…
My mom gave me a birthday card recently that would have sufficed for both the birthday and father’s day. It read, “Nothing makes a parent happier than to see that their son has become a great father with the strength to take care of others, the understanding to handle the challenges and opportunities of life, and the love to make his family feel both safe and happy.” I know…you’re wondering if I cried the first time I read it. Almost. =P
Being a dad for 8 months, I really don’t know much, but one thing I do know is that I love this kid and as that love has grown I’ve begun to slowly fathom the depths of God’s love for us. That right there, is one of my favorite things about being a dad.
I’m thankful for both my father and father-in-law in the way that they have grown me, shaped me, and continue to inspire me. I’m thankful for my Father, for His crazy love for me and that He would even trust me with such a precious gift as my son. I pray for all you dad’s out there that you would continue to grow in strength, understanding, and love. Most of all I pray that through your love for your children, you catch a glimpse of the Father’s perfect love for you.
I’ll end with some more of me and my boy.
We watch YouTube together =)